Vincent The Dragon

I am actually glad that my mandatory vacation time is now, for some reason i have had a clarity of thought that i have not enjoyed in some time now. My imagination is alive and well, it's probably a prelude to a thought bothering me that i might be coming out of remission and back into the more icky parts of the Crohn's disease i have. i think the clarity i have enjoyed has been sparked somewhat by the JadeClaw game i am involved with via a chat session. It's rather late night and by then my mind has had time to lower the defenses and screens i seem to erect so i can (dys)function in daily life. Somehow i don't think i will get all the projects done that i had planned to do. The two i really need to do are replacing the window in the dining room and changing the transmission fluid in my truck.

My new favorite band is Blue October and this one hurts

Black Orchid
Have you ever been so lonely, No one there to hold? Pull me in or disown me, And then climb inside.
My arms are open wide.Have a look inside.

It is not that I am scared to learn, Why I'm empty inside. hold my hand or show some concern, If I live or die. My eyes are open wide. Help me look inside.

I hear the water drip from the faucet. It's sweetly falling in tune. I'm gently closing the closet. I fall to the floor, and crawl to my room. The thought of ending it soon...Just let me sleep in my room.

Hear me cry! cry! Cry! I hear a knock at the front door. Don't come in! I try to look at you But I can't stop shaking. Leave me alone. Just go away. Mother I'm so scared.

Empty bed and all of the sheets are gone, They're wrapped around me and you. All is quiet but the drop of a gun. I want to belong...to someone...But maybe life's not for everyone.

Well, here it is; my first real Blog. For those of you who don't know who i am don't feel bad as i am nobody anyway.

This site takes the place of my old website (dragonbathhouse.com). The install of the software did NOT go as planned. i was going to use Greymatter buy i did not like the way it worked/looked and it seems to be a dead product. i moved on to MovableType and spend the better part of two days (up until 2:30am) to decide that it just was not going to initialize the MySQL database and that i lacked the programming knowledge to figure out why. Sooo i moved on to B2evolution which was up and running in about ten damn minutes! It's is going to take a looong time for me to learn the coding i need to know in order to get the templates to look like what i want them to. i have been out of the loop as far as html is concerned for several years and wow am i out of date!

the purpose of this little endeavor is most likely a sad attempt to make sense of my bleak little existence and perhaps try to come to terms with who i am and possibly stave off those feelings of terrified loneliness