so like i went to the dentist - scheduled to clean teeth and fix one of the fillings from that other dentist's mess-up...Dentist removed the coming apart filling and went "shit". Long story short - 2 crowns - I have a partial lower plate - it is anchored by 2 very special teeth - 1 we knew would need a crown, the other was to be fixed up - the one that was to be worked on today - so, it was best to crown them both today and be done with it since they have to ship the lower partial off to a lab in California to be refitted for the new crowns... about $1800...and week without the lower plate...Shit
Continuing to learn this Linux thing (^_^)
Thanks Scott for your patience and help and input and stuffz
not much else going on this week...playing around a bit in SL with a new friend *^_^*
He's nice, I like him.
Working on the house this weekend, mom and bill coming down and play with computers a bit.
I finally got Ububtu functional on my computer (^_^)
trouble has been with my video card being um...new...
I have a Nvidia 8800gts...Linux drivers are a bit slow in their creation it would seem and i did not have the knowledge to compile one on my own.
Thus far i'm doing ok in using it - its a bit faster than windows for sure but i expected that - I get better FPS in SecondLife but some of that is the fact that again...the software for Linux is lacking a bit in its updates so SL doesn't render as pretty as it does in windows - I may set up a special windows install in a partition Just for SL.
Been a bit of a learning curve in how to edit the xorg file - still need to map in my mouse buttons...But all in all things are doing good so long as i don't manage to bork the config files too much out of whack so that i cant put things back together if i break it.
1) the house project pictures are mostly uploaded - its still a bit messy - php still needs a bit of work.
2) uploaded some more fur babies pics
Split the cost of a new one with mum and stepfather. (^_^)
Good deal for me.
Nice dryer too.
...
..
.
I miss my mates
Well…here I sit at the airport.
Spent the night here…delayed flights.
Feeling concerned…
…
day one I did a first for me – I don’t think I have mentioned on this blog….
I never allowed my self the opportunities to do anything in a social manner.
In all respects before a week ago, Dragon was a virgin to all aspects of anything that had to do with physical closeness to another….
So, in the car a tired dragon made out with a bunny while Qat and another were in the front seat. We all went out for a bite, then we went to Qats lair. Now…I’m a naturalist, so is Qat – but I wasn’t fully expecting him and bunny to immediately shed their coverings…they did…so did I and it felt good. Bunny played a bit with dragon then but dragon could not perform. Bunny did yiff dragons muzzle a few times, Qat did once. Dragon and bunny were cuddling and making out and playing with each other a lot, dragon cuddle and snuggle with Qat and hugs and kisses…though no tongue like with bunny. I got to get physically close to others, for the first time, in a bit of an overwhelming manner. At least I hope that’s the problem…Dragon and bunny pleasured themselves for Qat a few times sometimes just us sometimes Qat in the middle. I like to cuddle, very much. I like the hugs the closeness, I like to kiss, to smell, lick, taste. I never smelled another’s musk…I like it. Laying together, spooning in bed…All pleasurable, all felt…comfortable to me…but…all throughout I was having performance issues. Something odd since I am normally…um…up and ready and complete twice a day of more. I can’t deny mental and physical attraction to them both in varying degrees. But…I spent a lot of time sad too, introspective, pensive, crying, fearing.
I became someone I don’t really like…the quite dragon…to a degree.
We had fun. The forests there are of such a beauty…they feel familiar to me.
Dragon worked and fixed Qat’s keyboard, and worked on his car. We went out to eat a few times. Dragon and Bunny made a meal (not the dragons best pasta dish but was o.k.) Bunny made meals too. We sat there at the table, and had a meal together – it felt so nice. Everything felt so nice, so comfortable, I was at ease but also all the while I was numb..inside..scared and confused about my lack of sexual performance – I have never been unable to get things moving before – why now?
The walk on the beach, the hikes in the forest, physical closeness, the live play read at a Qat’s friends house, our meals, climbing on the bunny and touching, cuddling, exploring him. Tasting their…um…being able to show our affection in public, watching Qat make his art, listening to him talk and tell one of his stories and plays, playing with computer stuff and talking with bunny. Qat petting dragon in the car, hugging him, rubbing on his back and tummy, dragon and Qat walking to the coffee stand, watching some good movies with them, helping to clean the lair, cuddling in bed, dragon running his paws over them both in the shower, the feel of Qat’s warm paws in the dragons, giggleing and being a bit silly as Dragon and bunny shaved and…um..shaved more together, dragon running his paws on the Qats chest, hugging him…
It was all so good…so why then the sadness, why then the lack of performance from me, why the numb feeling inside…what does it all mean? Whats wrong with me?
…help…
Help came. I did what i should have in the first place...talked to my friends...By all creation look at what i have done – all the boundaries i crossed all at once, it no wonder i kinda freaked a bit – Shit I'd think thats normal! I'm sorry Qat, you tried to explain it, but you are my mate, I'd never disbelieve you but your so kind and gentile. It needed to come from my peers – i should have talked to them sooner – Live and learn Love, Live and learn. (^_^)
I plan on doing both with you both
To say the dragon is happy is an understatement of the most grandest proportions.
The woods here, they call to the dragon, he feels at home, at peace.
A warmth in the Dragons heart. His words, they fail him right now.
Dragon sets here this morning...eating a nice big breakfast and chatting with one of his dearest friends...soon i bathe...load up...run off the recycle and then...get in a plane...
I'm coming Qat my Love
I'm coming Bunny my Sweet
...
..
Tomorrow I get in a plane in fly 1300 miles to meet my destiny.
At this point I have only one fear…
Oddly enough it’s a performance issue. Maybe it’s the fact that I have not been sleeping much, well..i have been catching up lately. Funny though…I kinda half sleep until the computer IM client beeps at me letting me know Qat and Bunny have returned. *^_^*
No, I think my biorhythm is at the end of its upswing…I really need to find one of those rhythm calculators... Been really really…um…amorous lately and took things into my own ..er..well..lets say I may have overextend my abilities in that area *^_^* Oh my. That and I drank too much Saturday.
I have basically two days if time to recover….Meeps…Let’s hope that Remicade kicks in, I have a lot of sinning to do.
Maybe I’ll take a nap in the chair…meh…whats on the tv?...crap as usual.
…
I want to move there.
…
..
.
Badly.
But…for me, it would be so expensive…18 months of CORBA insurance is nearly $8000. Plus the normal $3000 of out of pocket I hit…plus the expense of a move…I have too many animals to fly them..I would have to rent a truck. Hitch mine to the back and drive…with gas and the cost of the truck..$2000….The weather there is not what I’m used to. Cold and rainy makes me sick fast…I’d have to have a job with benefits Real fast like….Yes, I have a good paying job, yes I have a much bigger house, yes, I have a career path here…I love Qat soo much, The bunny is so nice and totally compatible as a friend and more to me....I love them both…I just don’t want them to suffer, if they want me…Moving here…I don’t think they realize how different it is here, and also the country life is not so..easy for social stuff…and totally not the kind of…openness they are accustomed to. ..People here generally don’t have a problem but its not as open an environment, not a lot of social hangouts that I know of…but then again…what do I know…*giggles* we’ll just have to keep each other busy until they figure out their social circle of friends and such…That’s ok…my couch is big and I want to cuddle.
(^_^) Dragon
=^..^= Bunny
=^.^= Qat
I got a chance to talk with the bunny for some time today.
I like him.
We are going to be good friends for sure.
I cant wait
I cant wait
I cant wait
\ / (^_^) =^.^= (^_^)
a 7 track Album !!!
01 - Sun Rock (Vincent's Morning)
02 - The Council Divides
03 - Battle Over Dragonspire
04 - Nightpatrol Through Till Dawn
05 - Vincent's Dream
06 - The Last Duel
07 - From the Blood Of The Slain, The Creation's Chaos
The story is thus:
So, Vincent is sunning himself one day, and then a war between the dragon's looms.
Battles ensue; Vincent runs a nightpatrol and while (after) doing so has a dream of peace.
Finally, Korvindar and Martaghr, the two main opposing general-dragons, face off in a duel, and both die.
In the wake of all of this destruction, the essential chaos of which dragons are composed (chaos is a good thing) regenerates the earth!
...Qat?...I love you
\ / (^_^) =^.^= (^_^)
One week left *nrf*
And things look great - Dragon had another bout of silliness and got all crying and stuff but he understands why...See. I'm at the end of a remicade cycle and i get all silly when i am. I don't realize it until i do something silly. Also...um...Qat hit me with something that took me by surprise a bit..seems we gonna be a tripod, theres a third furson. I don't yet know the bunny in question but at first i'm like "oh noes im gonna get left behind" then i think and send a detailed email to Qat who squashed all the dragons fears. Then had more time to think and i realize that this situation actually will be easier (from my perspective)- See, i feel that since i cant give Qat everything he needs and since he is an artiest, that means he needs time alone...he cant be there for me or anyone else when the spark of creativity runneth. So, me and the Bunny and the Qat can...feel whole, have all our needs answered. Damn the dysfunctional nature of it in terms of all you normal people. 'Cause we ain't normal an i don't want to be either. All our life's have had shattering pain or loss or problems - together we can heal those as a family, as friends, as lovers, and as mates - At the very least maybe i can heal myself.
(^_^)
ug...worked too hard Saturday on the house (got another window installed though) causing the dragon to over sleep Sunday...then he could not sleep all night...so...his tail is dragging along today...NINE DAYS!!! eek..dragon needs to start gathering the stuffs he is needing to pack.
...nope, nothing can be done - my old dentures are unfixable and new ones will not be done in time...Dragon cry a lot last few days...he will be ok with the broken ones for looks but must take them out to eat...i did find out that a more comfortable permanent solution is available...but its expensive... $8000 expensive...for now i and Qat will have to deal with the dragon having a mouth of metal and plastic. maybe inna year or so, i can have my smile back...feel whole again.
Of all the glorious rotten luck...been having an issue with my partial upper plate...you know since the shape of the teeth has changed just a bit from the new dental work...so anyway, last night one of the clips broke off. Now its funny in a way since they actually fit better now but they hurt like a sumbeech. I know nothing can really be done other than taking a new cast and getting an entire new plate made..Grrrr...it just at a bad time..I go in tomorrow and hope that they can put a rush on it so i have a good set and am comfortable when i'm away to see Qat...