Vincent The Dragon

Dragon At Nemmie Dragon and his Wolf mate's lair - Dragon have fun hanging out.
*^_^* er...and stuff..

So like the hotel decided to charge the room for the school to my debit card, rather than the Corp, card they were authorized to use...all in all looks like $200.00 in fees for overdrawing - we will see when the dust settles - my company better damn sure take responsibility for these fees and/or pass them along to the hotel.

Ok, so like i go up to my Dad's house. Told my brother, father, step mother that I am gay.
...
What the hell have i been afraid of all these years? All three of them pretty much finished my sentence and already knew for the most part. All are happy for me and supportive.
(^_^)

Scott, Dad hopes to meet you some day, and Michael and Tyler too - yup I could not stop talking about you all.

Filling out passport application.
going to see my Dearest Love - ASAP
*^_^*

well, i made it home.
Got 100% on the final - went to the airport and finished listening to the book Scott sent me (Born on a Blue Day - Danial Tammet). Very good book, made me cry several times in the airport. Lots of similarities in my life to Danials.

NewJersy airport fails me once again - 1.5 hours of delay because of weather (the sky was overcast....) then we get on the taxi and the pilot comes in to meekly say that we are 47th in line for takeoff...i missed my connecting flight in Cincinnati and had to stay the night in the terminal. I am supremely tired, a bit sad as i kept imagining coming home to have Scott meet me at the air port. Happy because i Love him so very much and sad because it will be a while yet before i can hug him.

(*^_^*)hic...oops..dragon drinked too much...bored profusely and cute bartender...
..
Class is ok...one of the black gentleman took offense to my using the word 'monkey' in a sentence..WTF!!

Political Correctness and Shit is Bull!
You don't here me griping every time someone talks about twinkies
...Whatever...

Oh Scott, I love you so much - Don't worry, we'll work in the furture together. One step at a time Love, one step at a time. (^_^)...hopefuly they will be fast steps...

I'll be at a vendor school this week. Boring...
Likely will be playing StarCraft all night. I never seem to fit in much with the other techs. Motivation for the school is low, they are pass/fail and its nearly impossable to fail. That and the machine i am going to school on, the sales staff has little in the way of ability to sell such a large and expensive machine in my area...Chances are quite good that i will Never get the change to work on one...

...I miss you Scott...
I love you, hope you are having a good time

Sooo...like i had a friend over for the weekend. This Dragon i know...um...I'm totaly not a virgin anymore. I learned a lot, Nemmie is very gentle. He is going to make me a tail ^_^ Shooting for a close representation of my Second Life tail. And it was very nice to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie..I admit, though that i kept thinking about you Scott...

i quite nearly messed it all up.
Thankyou so much Qat, for having the knowledge and the patience and the love to help teach me where i was going, what i was doing.

seems like i have issues, passive-aggression...

At the least, now that i know about it, i can exact changes to my behavior and with the continued help and support of those that love me, my self included...we can control this beast...or tame it a bit (^_^)
and...understand it, why it is.

Trampoline
I'm your
Trampoline
Oh you jump so hard but I always catch your fall
So now I'll just
Hide away (you know I think I will)
Hide away
Oh, I run so fast but I always lose them all

I wish I could go to sleep and wake up with amnesia
And try to forget the things I've done
I wish I knew how to keep the promises I made you
But life i guess it goes on
Yeah I know it goes on
You see I've learned it goes on

But then I'll hang us on the wall
And I'll crawl in the open side
And I'm blind to it all
So why don't you
Crawl in my open side and become blind to it all

You know I think it's time to pray
For the contortion, my abortion
That I somehow shoved away
I think it's right for me (yeah I think it's right for me)
When I was young I was stung
And somehow lost God's faith

I wish I could go to sleep and wake up with amnesia
And try to forget the things I've done
I wish I knew how to keep these promises I made
But I guess life goes on
Yeah I know it goes on
You see I've learned it goes on

Way back when I must have sinned
I break down profound, beginning, end
Head trip re-grip what doesn't mend
But I'm wishing this amnesia would kick in

     Well, here i am again. Setting in the chair...
...
     A lots happened as you can see...

     I'm not sure what to say today.

     I have a friend coming to stay a day with me. He is going to build a tail for the dragon.
(^_^) something i have wanted for awhile but never knew how to start the process. Hopefully the goal is to make it look like my tail in SL. I spent a lot of time getting it just right and i feel its the closest thing to the way my fursonas tail is. There will be some sexual tension, I'm sure. I need the experience and i want to do things with the dragon thats coming to see me. He knows most of my issues. I still feel virginal and feels odd to me not having much experience at my age. My emotional state has a tendency to get in the way. We will see.

     My relationship with Scott is deepening, I think about you all the time Scott. Wonder what your doing, want to watch tv with you and play games, help each other around the house. When we chat, its nice...bringing normal stuff into the chat. real stuff...bringing me a berry freeze, me throwing a sock at you. We have a lot of time yet before we can think about truly being together...I'll be there, when the times comes. I love you.

     I still need friends here locally. So far every possible contact has gone silent after speaking to me, gets a bit old. I would move for you Scott, just like i would move for you Qat. Complicates things, i hope i never have to make a choice to pick one of you. I want us all to be together. We have time though, to explore yet. hehe Right now i am daydreaming a bit, i see us on the kitchen table Scott, your building a Warhammer model, I'm detail painting one, Bunny is making snacks, Qat's picking out the movie and music. It's game night and our friends are coming over to play....Qat, put on some pants, you'll scare them away...

     I dream of the house...4 bedroom with a full basement...

Lost is not the right word – Qat, I will always love you, always. You saved me; you made me want to live again. You gave me hope, when I thought there was none; you showed me tenderness and the possibility of worth and love. I know we will never be Mates to the degree that I feel that word warrants. However, that does not detract in any way from how I feel about the rest of our relationship. I still want to live our lives together, learn, love, grow, teach, help and care for. We will be two sets of mates, connected as a loving family.

( ^_^ + (^_^) ) + ( ^..^ + =^.^= ) = Us

Bunny and Qat are Mates, true and simple. Scott and (with all my heart I do so wish will be so) I are Mates.

I don't know what to truly call you Qat, I may still refer to you as mate, just not as Mate – many may not see the distinction, and it does not detract my feelings for you. We will never share our beds, you will never be my lover, and that changes nothing of my feeling towards you, or you, Scott, or you, Tyler. We will be together on the steps of life, side-by-side, with our mates’ paws in our own.

Most of all, I thank you for your patience and understanding in the trying time we have just passed; a new dawn has arisen for us all. I also thank Scott, for caring so deeply for me; I love you so very much. Thanks go also to our mutual friends who have helped and talked to us as well. Scott, my dear sweet Scott, you have been by my side, for so long. I have been by yours as well. We continue to love and learn and grow. I'll be there by your side for as long as time on this earth will allow. Our continual devotion to each other will never separate us, no matter what paths our lives take us upon.

I hurt myself today to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real. The needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting. Try to kill it all away but I remember everything. What have I become? My sweetest friend; everyone I know goes away in the end. And you could have it all, my empire of dirt.
I will let you down.
I will make you hurt.
I wear this crown of thorns upon my liar's chair full of broken thoughts I cannot repair. Beneath the stains of time, the feelings disappear. You are someone else, I am still right here. What have I become? My sweetest friend; everyone I know goes away in the end. And you could have it all, my empire of dirt.
I will let you down.
I will make you hurt.
If I could start again, a million miles away; I would keep myself, I would find a way.

In the depths of the human spirit is a fire.
The inner flame.
For some, it burns brightly.
For some, it burns quick.
Much of who we are comes from this fire.

Ethereal it is, born of the spirit and of the soul.
For some of us, it just flickers.
Dim though it is, when it is alight, it seems brighter when all you saw before was darkness.
But the darkness always comes back, reminds you what you are;
Just a flickering light amongst a sea of gems.

When the light goes out
Will you wish for its return?
Or will you finally let go.
Let the gems sparkle, they too will fade
But at least you’re no longer in their way

You can impact their glow.
Push them up from the depths below
Or pull them down as you so go
Stand in their light, obscuring their glory, Or just let go.
Silt remains of their fire falls, covering and protecting you
Encasing and holding you there in the cold deep
Safe from the warmth, and any hope that you too someday would shine