Vincent The Dragon

got all the FurBabies pics back up and running on that part of the blog.

Also, met a guy; his name is William. We went out once, well...movie and dinner at my place, nice guy, going to see each other some more and see what happens. ^_^

When i read a good book, one that tugs at feelings; it makes me cry.
Good movies will too I try to hide it for some silly reason when i am around others..i need to work on that, allowing myself to be myself.
anyway

This is the first book i have read that falls into the romance novel description, smutty one too(which i enjoyed much).
it leaves me happy, sad, longing for a deep relationship, wishing things had turned out a bit better in my live than they have, wishing i did not live so much of my life confused and closeted.

it was a good book
Out of Position by Kyell Gold
and it will be on my mind for a while.

You are brought up to beleive that crying is bad...It's not..And its better if there is someone you care for there with you.
One of the memories that weighs most heavy on what makes me ME, is being held by someone that cared for me, and i cared for him; while sobbing. The reason for the crying on my part was one of loss and deep sadness, but the tenderness of the moments there, being held...I wish for those moments, hoping sceptically that they will happen again.

P.S.
i knew you were not ready, so i never said it.
You needed...we both needed, to do some things. Oats to sow i guess, but in my mind i hoped you would realise something and come to me. It did not happen and i think you knew the thing i never said and that is why things ended the way they did.
I think now, i should have told you that i loved you.
I suppose i still do, or this p.s. would not be here. Will time give me the things i need to get over you or will i always long for your return?
...damn it..

well...
Every day i check the job listings and find less and less...I don't know what i am going to do.

I beat the Metroid Prime trilogy i got for my birthday but can't unlock the extra stuff since i don't have any friends to give the in-game 'friend vouchers' to.

Moms off visiting a friend for the week and the house has been all mine. Good time to have people over or something but no luck there. And no prospects either.

the Holiday season is upon me and i don't have much money to work with, if any at all.

Started reading Out of Position by Kyell Gold, for a smut filled erotic tale, it's quite good so far.

I have run out of things to do on the house other than projects i don't have the cash to start

Mostly, i am just bored and lonely.

and updates..umm...lets see...

completed Metroid Prime 2...watched movies. StarGate Universe is shaping up to be a really good program.
ate turkey
fiddled with things about the house
yeah, that's it

but...Prince and IT got scared and held each others paws..
Arwwww...

Yay for parties!

*flop*
i need sleep
(z_z)___

going to a Kentucky furs party waaaay far away...ah well, hope to meet people i have not spent time with in a long time. Perhaps make some contacts, who knows, it never hurts.

Working on some DJ software so i can DJ in SecondLife

Ubuntu 9.10 seems to work fine for Bill's HTPC as it sees the vid card...but..adobe flash player sucks and drops frames

I had a date thingy last night...I don't get the change to do that very often.
Nice guy, I'll call him Steve...Local to my area too.

Kinda 'small worldish' as we have ran into each other before, more or less, when i was employed. Such things are bound to happen with the relative small population...well..not small...greater metro and outlying area here puts it at 500K peoples.

Dinner then back to my place for wine and music and FancyLU being the centre of attention <_<
I am hopeful for a good friendship and someone to do things with so i am not so boring..hehe. While he is not into the fur fandom, i have managed not to scare him off yet so that's a good sign...

...so if you gather up a group of gay men to play cards, would that be a pokehim night?

ok..so i have a bellsouth.net account...they were bought by AT&T who bought Yahoo...i am sure somewhere on some tiny print on one of the dozens of emails i get from at&t they mentioned something to the effect that they were changing the way their spam trap works ...

Bottom line is that i was not getting ALOT of emails; they were in the spam trap and only stay there for one month then are deleted...and you can ONLY see this spam trap directory if you log in to the web mail side. Also, outgoing emails are not being delivered as the system flags you as 'infected' and puts a '[SPAM]' in the header so the receivers email marked it as spam and for the most of you, you never got my emails...I have edited the damn spam thing but there is no way to edit the outgoing settings that i see...

all the main blog pages photo galleries have been fixed.
Images now work again but it seems i have misplaced the originals of half a dozen so they are only 800x600
That is not bad but i would like to find my originals...

results are, no active signs of Crohn's Disease.

That IS a good thing

cant eat food today...prep for colonoscopy

had some friends over, watched tv, ate pizza, drank beer

Dr. appointment today
The past years accumulations of blood work shows that the Remicade is working. my CBC ad C-reactive panels are all stable and show little deviation during the end of the treatment cycles.

it's nice to know that 22 years of fighting Crohn's Disease is a battle i am not loosing.

ok...so, you were online with your old accounts...The ones i deleted months ago when i asked about them and you told me you were never going to use them again. I should have known better than to expect contact on the account we have always contacted each other on before. apparently the same goes for email, i should have somehow known not to use the one we have used in the past...you know..just somehow..I am supposed to know you may have missed my calls to you when your Cell was off. I was supposed to know that you said you would talk to me on a certain day but you decided not to...wow, sorry, my bad.

Lets turn back the clock here a month ago...The last thing my friend said to me prior:
”hey hun sorry i missed our work out Wednesday i didnt realise i wasnt logged into my yahoo till you had already went, ill be going over to ty's for the weekend so i wont be here for todays work out, ill make sure monday is free so we can go then.
talk to you when i get back.”

the monday in question freind would say:
“thank you Vincent for being my friend and thank you for doing all that you have done for me. I feel like my life has changed in a different direction than where it was in the past. I am sorry to say I feel it best if we should part ways...”

What I would have said:
“Thank you Kaz for being my friend, and thank you for all that you have done for me. I am sad and disappointed that I will not be in your life anymore, but I understand and wish you the best of luck in your future direction. Know that I will be here if you have need of me, and I will remember you always.”

Instead you took a different approach and rationalized to yourself and those you choose to have changed for that you are the victim of me....so be it then...I would however like to say thank you

thank you for going camping with me

thank you for showing me how to make a mean gin and tonic

thank you for sowing me that people can be ashamed of being near me

thank you for letting me buy you cloths

thank you for taking me to the Y

thank you for playing video games with me even though we are completely different at it

thank you for showing me friends don't confide in me

thank you for letting me work on your computer and your car

thank you for pointing out my weaknesses

thank you for kissing me

thank you for letting me kiss you

thank you for letting me do your homework until 12am while you go on a date

thank you for being there for me when I was broken hearted

thank you for showing me I can still be romantic

thank you for letting me be there when you were broken hearted

Thank you for being the first guy I took as a date to my fathers

thank you for showing me that friendships mean little

thank you for showing me I could be passionate

thank you for telling me we had no sparks

thank you for introducing me to music I have not heard before

thank you for letting me take you to a club

thank you for staying at my house for weeks and not offer to pitch in

thank you for letting me pay your room at AC

thank you for showing me I can have dreams

thank you for giving me thoughtful gifts

thank you for meeting my friends, online and off

thank you for not letting me meet most of your friends

thank you for showing me that dreams can be false hopes

thank you for showing me that even best friends will hurt you

thank you for reminding me that people are selfish and forgetting

thank you for being incapable of ending a relationship with any modicum of decency

You have changed, changed with every new person you encountered in your life, you changed in odd and quick directions but you failed to grow. You failed to take those experiences and say thank you for them. Someday you may.
Good bye my friend, may you find your path.