Vincent The Dragon

When i had things this bad before...i was 20, taking huge amounts of prednisone and i had my mom to come home to...

Now?...I'm 40...these fistula are not like they were back then...I came home today feeling like a MAC truck ran me over again, shaking like a leaf because i was so cold and in pain and very afraid i was going to run my car off the road...

The only good days I have are Mondays...huh, go figure, after a few days of rest, having a crapper within reach and a tub to rince out the crap (literally) from the fistula's so i dont spend all day in searing pain. I have enough energy to fix food ( i am having a glass of red wine, lortab and ramen tonight); keep my self clean...

(end of rant)

...
Thoughts?
I have a followup with the surgeon who did my illeocolectomy in 5 days...I don't want to be a burden but i want to have a reason to live.

I wanted to see The Hobbit at the I-Max but me and Will have not been able to go together so I decided to go with a friend. We had it planed for this Saturday, the movie schedule said it was playing but apparently it got bumped by Hansel and Gretel which looks like a sucky effects movie that i have zero desire to watch...so i guess i missed my chance to see the Hobbit in 3-d

Well..i called a few places...they did not care...just said there will be late fees and blah blah blah...nothing has been shut off...yet.

My boss actually said with a straight face in a meeting that although i am still healing and although i have to stay late some times; i need to set aside time to work late to get done all the tons of things i have on my plate...Like fucking hell i am.

Being in the hospital and then home means no paycheck...all sick and vacation time used up.

We can't make the ends meet when i do get paid...now what am i supposed to do?...called credit card places; they don't really give a shit and will not do anything but note it in my account and let me know there will be late fees and other assessments. Can't get a hold of the car loan place or the phone bill place due to 'higher than average call loads'

I hope we can get by on what groceries we have for the next 2 weeks and pray that i can find enough money to put into the gas tank.

been out of the hospital for a week.
getting stronger
spent time baking cookies
dealing with symptoms i have not had for years and years...lots of pain...

having some tests ran next week to see if Remicade has stopped working...lets hope not.

Not having any money and spending so much time so close to the holiday in the hospital has made the season somewhat lesser for me...

nope...can't poop.

Went back in for a look, stricture is the problem. Too much scar tissue.

Should be having surgery Friday or so. Rather than do the normal step down off the steroids, we are stopping them cold turkey. It's not likely that i will be released until after the surgery due to the steroid jump off and the fact that without proper nutrients I will just get weaker. In the hospital, they can give me the diet that will keep me alive but not hurt me.

Half way through the school, I started having issues.
Managed to make it home then...
Well, I wound up in the hospital Sunday. there is an area where the terminal Ilium meets the actual poop pipe that has always shown active irritation. It closed up almost totally.

massive antibiotics, massive steroids, clear liquid diet and bed rest. Now we moved to solid food again and we will see. I don't have high hopes; its most likely going to require removing that part of colon.

We will see...

heading out Sunday to drive my ass up to Chicago for a copier school i don't really want to go to.

Crohn's symptoms getting better but still lingering.

Watch the new Breaking Dawn movie with my Wuf...FYI, the wolfs in the movie are beautiful.

No money for the holiday this year...everyone is getting baked goods.

Nothing else going on, really...Shower, sleep, work, eat, poop, dishes, laundry, shower, repeat...

So the meds i got from the ER cleared up the chest cold thing rather fast. That's good...

I am having some symptoms of Crohn's that i have not had in a long time...that's bad...
I am giving it another week and if things don't start subsiding, i will have to go see the doctor so we can get this back under control fast. I remember being in much more pain that this for a lot longer in my past but i truly hope this is a short term thing.

Got the moving truck all packed and we headed out...10 hours of driving...motel...10 more hours of driving.
The scenery was nice and pretty, pity we could not linger for some photo's.
Richards place in nice...big...the town is nice looking, not too urban but not in the sticks.
worked our asses off unloading then i got on a plane; barely made my connecting flight.
Got stranded at the airport 'cause my ride fell asleep.
Meanwhile my chest cold kept getting worse; by Friday I was pretty damn sick.
Wound up in the ER Sunday...

Got some medications and a pass from working for a few days. I go back to work tomorrow but I am feeling much better.
My Wuf did a great job of caring for me while ill.

Well, we got all moms stuff packed up and in the moving truck; tomorrow I drive her 20 hours away...

I have gotten back into SL more again.
My Avatar will never be a good representation of my fursona so I gave up on that but the one i have put together is pretty cute (*^_^*).
I did not know when you have a premium account, you get a free house so i claimed mine when i found this out.
I have been without a 'home' in SL since the Gayborhood went away. The free house is pretty good but your prim limits are low. It is not bad though for being 'free'.

Looks like I get to go to the next copier school here in a month because the tech i had in mind to go refused to since he has not had a raise in two years. Both the techs are not doing a very good job due to the management style and their personalities not really jiving. I dont blame them, i wish i had a better job too but i don't let it effect my work ethic. the number of employees at work has gone down, sales person let go, receptionist retiring soon so she was let go, techs on the verge of getting fired and no prospects in the works for any replacements. more work for me with the same pay that doesn't make the ends meet...

Well, I had a pretty good birthday.
Got some monetary gifts...I luff money!
Some nice shirts and a snuggely wuf blanket from my Wuf.
Spent some time at my dads, got a nice outfit and dad gave me some very personal gifts.
He gave me his military KayBar and something that belonged to my Grandfather; his Volt-Ohm meter.
The meter looks very nice on my shelf.

Got the new door up. I did a pretty damn good job for it being done by myself and having never put in a garage door.

It will be nice to have my garage back, once all mom's' crap is out of it I may have room to actually do things in there again.