I can tell the stress of life is taking it tolls on my outlook on life.
I can blame it on being less than a month away from my next remicade treatment but thats a lie.

i am setting outside in the dark trying to see the keys, having a drink and a smoke.

Finances are not getting better, they are getting worse. this month i need to come up with $380 for cobra and $750 to start the high risk insurance i have no other choice but to get. While i enjoy the challenges i have before me at work, and the accomplishment of fixing weird issues we seem to have; it's very stressful to know at the end of the day i can't make ends meet and i can't afford to have the things i want like a house or a newer car. I worry that because of the seemingly constant barrage of issues the boss will not keep me on as manager after my 60 day trial and i will go back to just being an over worked and over extended technician. Will wants to do so many things, and i want them too but i have to keep saying no because we can't afford it and so i wonder how much longer he will keep putting up with me and having to live in the same house as mom. What happens when my 13 year old truck with 335000 miles kicks the bucket? What am i going to do when i simply can't keep the credit cards from increasing because i have to eat and pay insurance? I wish for easier times but know they will never come. I turn another year older this month and fear of becoming a bitter old man who had glimpses and touched upon happiness only to have it taken away of destroyed by my own doings.

I have accomplished a lot, been through more than my share of strife, had a share of good times happiness and sorrow; yet i feel small against the deluge of life. How long before it breaks me down and pushes me somewhere i don't have the will or strength to come back from?

Past two weekends have been spent working on the floor in the business room.
The sub floor is down and so is the luan. The trim around the window in there is up but needs a little sanding and touch ups.

New the floor leveler/patching compound goes in the seams and gets sanded before laying down the adhesive and the tile.

For the most part all the "hard" work is done.

Money is a problem again...Cobra insurance is going up, i need $550 at the beginning of the month then i need $750 next month to start up the Kentucky Access health care i have no choice but to get then figure out how to make the $450 a month premium payments.

Meanwhile, Will stopped working at the place he was and is now working for a direct TV place behind the phones. It doesn't pay as much but the hours are better for his school schedule and there are more of them. So far he is doing just fine with school and i see no reason for him to falter.

Well, at least i hired a Tech. He starts Monday and i really got a good feeling about him and his abilities.

We started a new project this weekend...ripping up the nasty carpet and floor in the business room...YUK was it nasty. I worked VERY hard, with the help of a friend. We have the old floor and carpet gone, new sturdy floor plywood all down. Next is to paint the walls, finish the trim around the window, then Luan plywood goes down, then composite vinyl tile.

The house is a mess with all the contents of the buisness room in the living room

The party was great! Will enjoyed himself and was well received in the furry community. I got a little drunk but not all *blarrrgh* like i did before. We found a really nice and OMG sexy Cheetah that followed us home (*^_^*)

Will's car decided to have an issue Tuesday. One thing i truely hate is lazy work.
Some one has taken this car apart and put it together lazy...the power steering cooling line was not put back into it's holders and then wired up into place with a fucking coat hanger. It's been contacting the AC pulley and wore a hole into it. This is not a replaceable part as it's a rather long custom bent pressure tube. We thing i can cut out the bad section and splice in some new tubing with some compression unions...we will see.

Thank you Hunny for coming along.

ATM i am in a hotel in Lexington getting ready to go out to eat with Will then we are going to a party hosted by one of the members of kyfurs.com. Some much needed R and R but i still can't keep my mind off of what i need to say to new guy and how to continue to instill confidence in the bosses. After I told them how new guy is doing this week, it was them that told me to go ahead and pull the trigger on him, but still...

Works is still busy, but we have a new Service Manager...me!
I am promoted, and i have my first technician to manage starting monday.

Did some work on Will's car. I got one window functional and diagnosed the AC issue. It's a two fold problem, the drivers side blend door is warped and not sealing well thus letting warm air pass; it's a known issue for this model. Also the blend door actuator motor is borked. I removed the motor and have the door set to AC only which will help.

Next on the list of things to do for the house is rip up the nasty, smelly floor in the business room and replace it with vinyl tiles. This means pulling up the wood sub-floor.

Ow, my back hurts

FYI I am NEVER going to the ER in Henderson again, that hospital just sucks...no poking around on my gut, no blood test, not much other than..Oh yeah, you have Crohn's but you know there is this bug going around so here is some Lortabs now go away.

Well. that was at 4am, so i stayed home and let it burn its self out, more or less. I still feel a bit icky but it must have been tummy flu.

And really, things would be easier on the girl if she just decided not to choose between the Wolf and the vampire and just have a three way. This would also prove amiable to getting the Vamps and the Wufs to like each other more.

(^_^)

In other news, I am now the only service technician at work as the other one quit...meep...